Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Developing a Foreplay Floorplan

Wow, it's been 13 months since my last post. Hard to believe that much time could go past. Well, I'm back and plan on keeping you informed, entertained, and just plain impressed. Without further delay, let's begin today's lesson.

It has come to my attention that a number of you are relatively unsatisfied with the state of your "personal" interactions. (By personal interactions, I mean sex-for the lamens). I must say, I was quite perplexed at this; but then it hit me. "We are creatures of habit, so once we adopt habits; good or bad, we stick with them much to the dismay of those involved. Just this morning, I had a conversation with a good friend who was confused that her husband could lay next to her all night, not mention a word, yet wake up upset that they didn't have sex. this got me to thinking, how many women are in situations like this? How many men are caught in this same web of sexual confusion as well?

*Note - I am not licensed so please do not take my words as law. I can say that I am well versed and professionally educated in the ways of interpersonal interaction so I am simply offering my experience and opinion on areas that may create affection and satisfaction where it might be lacking or under-appreciated.

How does one develop a Foreplay Floorpan? For that fact, what the heck is a Foreplay Floorplan anyway? Aside from being one of my better tongue twisters, let's examine. Wikipedia defines Foreplay as a set of intimate psychological and physical acts between two or more people meant to create desire for sexual activity. a floorplan is generally defined as a layout of sorts, providing direction on how a structure should be built.

With this said, my foreplay floorplan is a suggestion of a structure that would provide a solid foundation to building on an intimate moment with your mate. It behooves me to start off today's lesson addressing the fellas because it's my personal opinion that more women are comfortable with being open and discussing what they like, I just don't see as many men asking the questions.

Here are my list of items that should be on every man's Floorplan. I don't place a ranking on these because, every woman is different and the whole point of this is to learn your woman. also, there are far more items that can be added to this list. This list is only to serve as a catalyst to motivate. Read it, try some of the things, add more. She will only appreciate you more for taking the time to put effort into being a more attentive and "'polished" lover:

1. Surprises can be your friend - Be it flowers, candy, a teddy bear, or just a "thinking of you" token, surprises show her that she is on your mind even when she is not in your sight.

2. Add the cooking channel to your favorites lineup - It has been proven that cooking is one of the seduction arts, and there is nothing to say that you cannot wield that seductive sword and all its potential. I haven't spoken to a woman yet who didn't gush when describing coming home to a home cooked meal prepared by their man. Side note- If you truly are culinarily inclined, learn how to order out, and dress it up so it at least looks like you cooked. You will still get points for effort.

3. Try to arrange the babysitter ahead of time - While it is great that the kid goes to sleep at a certain time, it's so much better for the kid(s) to be out of the house alltogether. Lest we be reminded by the now infamous YouTube video, they are listening; they are always listening. Plan ahead and make sure that you have arranged a sitter for a few hours, as well as a backup should they become unavailable at the last minute.

4. Use the day to set the mood - You're at work, she's at work; this doesn't mean that you cannot give her the welcome illusion of your hands being right there on her, your breath right on her neck, your cologne indulging her olfactory senses. (Now level with yourself, you just imagined what I typed, right)? Imagine how much more descriptive you can be sending messages to the woman you know intimately? A well placed text message or email here and there could do a world of difference. Just avoid sending it while driving...

5.Handle her house responsibilities for the evening - For us co-habitators, we all have mutual responsibilities that we are accountable for when we get home. They range anywhere from who does dishes, to whose turn it is for laundry, etc. The thought of getting home and having these things already done or having the peace of mind that they will be resolved takes a lot off her mind and allows her to focus on other things.

6. Pick the right music - Now this is a personal preference, but you should know what your woman enjoys hearing. Note - there is only a small percentage of women that could possibly want to hear Lil Wayne at this moment, so please expand your playlist. Some Quincy Jones, Sade, Keith Washington, heck, I'll even throw in some Trey Songz. Just understand that the mood is more important than a moment. A good song is not as important to the right mood. Find songs that support your cause.

7. Draw her a bath - Now, things are starting to pick up some. Ask most women, and I'm sure most if not all will confirm that they are slightly turned on by the thought of coming home and seeing a candle-lit steamy bathtub full of hot-yet comfortable bubbly water waiting on them. When you get good at this, you will know her favorite fragrance, and can add some scented oil to the bath, or try a Lush bath bomb. (If you missed that, try a Luch bath bomb) Now, your control will start to become a factor here, because you are the vessel of her pleasure right now. You are directing this moment, and HER satisfaction is your destination; not your own. Bathe her back, wash her hair, completely pamper her, this is your prize, appreciate it as you should.

8. Magic Fingers time - She is out of the bath, warm supple skin aglow, what's the next natural step? Moisturizing. I will help you out here, invest in a glass bowl, that you can fill with hot water. When she is nearing the end of the bath, put the bottle of oil in the bowl of water to heat up. It will never scald, and should be just right. Again, this is a control exercise. While you may have her in front of you with nothing on, you are NOT to "try to get it in" You will have voided all that you have worked for and cheapened this moment to a "quickie". Lay her down, remove her towel, and massage her while you are moisturizing her skin. Take your time to appreciate every inch, fold, wrinkle, the whole package. Encourage her to just listen to the sound of your voice, and you compliment her, and assist her in envisioning that dream vacation and all that comes with it. Point here is positiving imaging, with reinforcing touch has proven to produce stimulating energy. Start at her head, and work down to her feet, taking care not to miss a spot.

9. The Art of the Kiss - Now by this time, you have a woman in front of you who is very comfortable, very relaxed, and waiting on your next move. I suggest embracing the art of the kiss. but the twist here is, this kiss isn't just for her lips. this is a body kiss. Just as you started a pattern with your fingers while massaging her in the previous step, your lips should follow this same trail, from head to feet, not missing anything in-between. Note - if your lips feel like brick, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! They should be soft, feather like kisses to show that you appreciate her delicate side, and know how to vary in pressure, so that she also understands that you desire her as well and intend to show her that.

10. You really shouldn't need this step, but I'm going to provide it anyway. It's a continuation of the last step and involves you knowing what your individual woman likes. This is the moment to indulge her in her desires. What is she craving at this moment? My guess is, that she is expressing this to you. So my 10th point is Know What Questions to Ask. Understand that she is very open right now, so whispers right upon the ear are always good. Cut personal space between the two of you down, this is a good time to invade her personal space (pardon the pun). your questions should not be about what you want, but what she would like or what she desires at this time. I can guarantee if you focus on making her satisfaction your pleasure, then she will be eternally grateful, and you will not regret one single second of her gratitude...

I'm sure there will be some very interesting feedback to come from this posting, so I look forward to entertaining any questions, comments, or critiques.


V. Hennessey

"Live simple, with a touch of flair"....

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Here we go...

This has been a long time coming, but it's finally time I gave in and sat down and created my first blog. I have received tons of support from friends, family, and it's time to make good on it.

Since I have had the worst case of Writer's Block getting this thing started, I decided to just write EVERYTHING that is on my mind at the moment, and we will pick this up tomorrow. I'm glad you stopped by to check in on my world, and I look forward to sharing with you my thoughts on art, fashion, love, sex, relationships, religion, politics, employment, etiquette, movies, music, television, shopping, manners, food, style, celebrities, bartending, sports, wine, cheese, sex appeal, fine dining, iPhones, Blackberries, photography, little people, carnies, church, humor, sarcasm, world peace, cable, barbeque, The Lion King, bald heads, puberty, hunger pangs, reincarnation, Egyptology, mosquito bites, peace in the Middle East, Food Network, Clean House, Baltimore, AND did I mention ascots?